Don't Forget... The Contestant! (Pretty Please)

Don’t Forget the Lyrics – The experience

While not a music review per se, I must relate to you all the happenings of my most recent weekend. Last Thursday I happened upon “Don’t Forget the Lyrics” on Fox television. Admittedly, I rarely watch shows like these because I generally prefer a comedy or sporting event plus I get rather incensed when a contestant butchers a song that I know by heart. Anyway, for whatever reason, I watched.

The first contestant did fairly well, but was stumped by Elton John’s “Someone Saved My Life Tonight.” He didn’t know the rest of the lyric is “you almost had your hooks in me, didn’t you dear?” I knew this immediately. I have this song on repeat on my iPod.

At this point my girlfriend looked at me and said, “When are you trying out for this show?”

I replied, “Never. They never have casting calls and it’s impossible to get in.”

Well, after the next contestant failed to sing the second verse to “Hard to Handle” – a song I sang with my college a cappella group – I figured I’d look casting calls. And wouldn’t you know it, they had one in New York on Sunday. So… I went.

The first day was ridiculous. After standing in line for 2 hours, and then sitting and waiting for another 2, I met with a producer for 5 minutes. He was quite affable and he quizzed me on a bunch of songs. I think I did pretty well, but then, I’m sure he said that to everyone.

The songs ran the gamut. I knew lyrics by The Beatles, Dolly Parton and Prince (among others) though I didn’t know AC/DC’s “Back in Black” or any Pat Benatar (upon further thought, I should have just shouted “We are young!!” – alas…). So he tells me that if I made the cut I would get a call that night to come back Monday for a written test and a screen test. No call Sunday night. Sad, sad times.

But Monday’s tune was different. That night, I got a call from “Hunter” with the show (he was also quite nice, in a sugar-coated kind of way). Apparently my application had been overlooked (huzzah!) and they wanted me to come in for a screen test the next day. Um, ROCK ON.

So there I was again, waiting with numerous others for 5 minutes with the big time producer. While waiting, I actually had to take the written test, which I zipped through. Of the 28 songs, I’m guessing I got 20. It was really interesting, some of the other people were poring over the questions and checking and then rechecking their work. I figured that I either got the words or not, but there was no reason to kill myself over not remembering the words to “Friends in Low Places,” it just wasn’t going to happen (not the chorus, I would have got that).

Soon enough I took an on-screen test. It was actually pretty interesting. They asked me to sing a song that I knew all the words to, but they also said that I should perform it as if 1,000,000 Americans were watching and they all had a remote in their hands. Nerve-wracking anyone? So I rocked out to “Hard to Handle” and then gave them a little taste of “Let’s Get it On,” which was deliciously received.

Finally, I actually played a game simulation but they picked the category for me. They picked 70’s and I had the options of “We are the Champions” or “Fly Like an Eagle.” So I went with the Steve Miller Band and got it right (they were looking for “let my spirit carry me” in the chorus). And with that they thanked me for my time and I was on my merry way. At that point, I probably should have asked when, if ever, I would hear from them, but I was so nervous that I just ran out of there without asking. Some woman in the waiting room told me 2 weeks, another said 6 months. Yeah, I’m not holding my breath.

All in all, it was a lot of waiting, but a lot of fun. I got to sing a bit in front of a big time producer and, well, miss some work doing it! And who knows, maybe one day you’ll be channel surfing and come upon a shaggy Brooklyn-based blogger who can’t remember the words to “Borderline” and it’ll make you think, “I could do that. When are the auditions?”